The Beyond
by UniquelyMi
Summary: In which Lucius Malfoy dies and learns that nobody except wizards cares about them. Warning: This work is Fanfiction and should not be taken for reality.


**Disclaimer: **I'm actually from 10000 years in the future, but I travelled back with a time-turner, kidnapped J.K. Rowling, and put her under the Imperius so that I could take all the profits from the Harry Potter series. Have fun trying to sue me for that!

**Real** **Disclaimer: **Just kidding. I do not profit from any of the Harry Potter characters - I just love torturing them. And since I'm disclaiming here anyways, nor do I profit (monetarily) from the physics included inside (which should not be used without double-checking your textbook first), death, grass, mist, or any of the other things mentioned in here.

**The Beyond**

The field was large and well cut, mist covering it, lightly in the middle, getting thicker as it moved away from the center. Feet pattered gently on the soft grass as Lucius Malfoy walked around in confusion, his posture erect and arrogant as always.

He thought he might be dreaming. But he clearly remembered the green light enveloping him, then sensation of falling, falling onto a platform, and then boarding a train that had dumped him here, wherever here was. Perhaps his whole day had simply been a dream.

If it was a dream, then nothing could hurt him. Of course, if he was truly dead, nothing could hurt him anyways. He turned around, taking a few steps toward the mist behind him.

"You really don't want to do that," a cheery voice called behind him.

Lucius whirled around, his pureblood face snapping on instantly. Standing in the field, where there had been nobody before, were three faintly glowing figures that appeared human. He felt irresistibly attracted to one of them but resisted it as best as he could.

"You might accidentally go through some gate that goes somewhere you don't like," the - person? Thing? Spirit? - elaborated.

Another one of the figures smacked the one who had spoken.

The figure, which he now noticed had been glowing erratically, steadied and took a deep breath. "Hi! I'm Entropy."

Lucius stared at Entropy, for once at a loss for words. Finally he said, grasping at his shreds of Muggle mythology knowledge, "Don't you mean Eris, goddess of chaos?" He tried to temper the normal arrogance in his practiced drawl. There was still the possibility that he might truly be dead, and that meant these figures were not to be offended.

Entropy rolled her - they were genderless, but 'it' seemed a bit rude and the name sounded to Lucius like a female name - eyes. "No," she said patiently. "I mean Entropy. Eris was several centuries ago."

"Fewer than that," the figure who had hit Entropy said. "Europe was swept up into the whole Christianity thing and we don't like to be one deity only. It's just too difficult. So we abstained and stuck with the Roman gods and goddesses."

"I don't understand," Lucius said. A less aristocratic man might have been described as saying it 'faintly' or 'blankly'.

"You're dead," the same figure explained, casually destroying Lucius's hopes. "When people die they meet us." She waved her hand at the expanse surrounding them. "We take the form of something that you consider governs the world - it changes based on region but it's too much work past that - but we don't do single things. So no God, no super-force, none of that."

"Inertia just doesn't like changes," the attracting figure said. "That makes sense; phe is _Inertia_, after all."

"Phe?" Lucius asked.

"Like he, or she, but for us," Entropy explained. Phe continued, "For most years it's been polytheism and then there came more and more monotheism. The debate seemed like it would never end, and then fortunately your science began developing and we just took those instead."

Inertia poked Entropy and gave pher a pointed look.

"Oh, right, introductions. I'm Entropy, as you already know. This is Inertia, and that's the Gravitational Force, but everyone just says Gravity. We're the laws of physics."

"I'm a force," Gravity said mildly.

Lucius looked at the three figures, utterly bemused. Physics? A memory surfaced in his mind of his grandson Scorpius's wife, Rose Weasley - the thought still made him grimace - mentioning it. But if he was correct, it was some Muggle thing. Why would these beings of death care anything about Muggles? Lucius had contemplated death many times before, but Muggles certainly had never factored into it.

Entropy seemed to have seen the confusion, because she said, looking at him with a pointed glare that brought back memories of Professor McGonagall, "You, know, physics? That thing you learned about in science class when you weren't paying attention?"

Lucius returned her gaze coolly, having been frequently looked at with worse. An almost automatic sneer fixed itself onto his face to complement the look. "I had tutors," he informed them. School, after all, was for Muggles and people of lesser blood. Even if he no longer believed in blood purity. It just wasn't a good idea in the present political climate.

"You _have_ to have learned physics," Inertia said. "Everyone has."

_What_? Lucius wanted to ask. _Nobody_ knew physics, except maybe some Muggleborns. Of course, Muggles used it, but they didn't matter! A more impulsive person would have said that, but Lucius was extremely good at holding his tongue and acting like he understood.

"Maybe he just forgot everything," Gravity suggested. "Some people do that."

Inertia wrinkled phis nose, and Lucius had to agree. He had been called many things in his lifetime, but forgetful was not one of them. Merlin, it placed him with people like that Longbottom boy Draco had told him about! He cast around for something to say and noticed that the mist on the field was inching closer, moving towards Gravity.

"Of course not. That's why everything's attracted to you," he guessed, managing to keep his voice from lilting upwards into a question.

Entropy - obviously the most expressive and changing - looked at him with a patient, encouraging smile that contrasted wildly with her previous glare, making him feel sick. "To be precise, it's accelerating at 9.8 meters per second squared," she offered unhelpfully. Lucius ignored the statement and looked at the light glowing from her, which was quickly becoming more and more erratic, and remembered that Inertia had hit pher when she wasn't making sense.

"And you're chaos, except more over time," he surmised.

Entropy nodded, her smile widening even as her tone turned academic and Granger-like. "The second law of thermodynamics, which is technically what I represent, states that in general the total entropy of any system will not decrease other than by increasing the entropy of some other system. I just tell everyone I'm Entropy because it's _so_ much less complicated, just like everyone calls the Gravitational Force Gravity. It only causes problems when someone who _actually_ understands physics comes along and gets mad. We generally check to avoid that, but you aren't a scientist."

Phis tone clearly showed that phe categorized everyone into scientist and non-scientist categories, and that the former was the only phe respected, to Lucius's annoyance. It was only amplified by his complete incomprehension of what she had just said. Hurriedly, he continued, "And Inertia is resistance to change."

"Correct," Inertia said in a bored tone, looking a bit sour.

"Inertia," Gravity said with a look, but a smile twitched phis lips. "At least he managed to remember _something_. Don't let your personal preferences get in the way."

Inertia mumbled something that sounded vaguely like "stupid mortals who constantly change" and "forcing me to adapt" and then a few profanities he wouldn't repeat.

Entropy and Gravity just rolled their eyes fondly at pher.

"Anyways," Entropy said brightly but slowly, as if she was talking to a rather dim child, "now that all that's finished, what beliefs do you have regarding death?"

"Beliefs?" Lucius asked, confused. Why would they be asking him?

"An opinion or conviction," Entropy said. "What do you think happens when you die?"

Lucius gave a start. "Why do you care?"

"Because," Gravity said before Entropy or Inertia could retort, "many people believe in extremely different afterlives and we try to accommodate all of that."

"It isn't because we're nice," Entropy said hastily, as if worried he would think less of them for it. "It's just because it was too much hassle before."

"I," Lucius said slowly, "don't really know." Perhaps even a day - though there seemed to be no time in this strange place - ago he would have had very distinct convictions, but now he truly had no idea.

"Oh, come on," Inertia said, annoyed. "First it's not knowing physics, and don't think I couldn't tell that you were faking -"

"Oh, don't give me that tripe. You just don't like unpredictability," Entropy contradicted.

"- and now it's this complete lack of ideas. Are you just stupid? _Everyone_ has thought about what happens when they die at least once."

To be honest, Lucius was just confuzzled. Not even confused; confuzzled. All of his ideas and thoughts had been completely Reducto-ed. And then he had been tugged every which direction by the chaotic Entropy until his head swam. It had not been a good day for him and his formidable mind was wearing down. In a rather dazed voice he said, "I don't - know - where I am." Where was not the right word for it, perhaps, but it expressed his sentiments very well.

"At least he knows how fast he's going," Entropy quipped, which earned pher a smack from Inertia, chuckles from Gravity, and complete incomprehension from Lucius.

"Entropy, he doesn't even know physics, don't start going quantum on him!" Inertia scolded.

Entropy made a face at pher. "But it's so much fun!"

"Too bad."

"Some phriend you are," Entropy muttered.

She received another smack. "The example doesn't even hold properly -"

"I know, Inertia! Hush!"

This broke Lucius, who now realized he had no idea what to expect from these beings of death that seemed to be able to control his afterlife. Staring at them blankly he said, "I don't understand."

"See? You just broke the poor fellow," Entropy said, pointing at him.

"Give him some chocolate," Gravity advised. "It always works."

"Unless they're allergic," Inertia pointed out.

Entropy moaned, putting phis head in phis hands. "Stop being so technical!"

A mug of warm, frothing brown liquid with little white puffy things floating in it was put in Lucius's shaking hands. Confused, he looked up.

"Try it," Gravity said.

Lucius would have been annoyed that they were treating him like an ignorant child but he was just too tired. All he wanted was his soft bed and Narcissa's tender care, and to go to sleep and for them to disappear. He wanted his normal, organized world back, where Muggles were ignorant animals and purebloods were superior to Muggleborns on principle and all he had to worry about was manipulating everyone and making a profit while pretending to agree with the new regime. He had expected confirmation of his beliefs in death, not…this.

"Try it," Gravity repeated, a persuasive undertone in phis voice. "It's hot chocolate, very sweet and very good."

Lucius stared at the mug blankly before deciding that things couldn't get any crazier and taking a sip. To his surprise, the effects were even more potent than regular chocolate. He took a long drink, feeling his head clear and energy return to him, and before he knew it, the mug was empty, and he could face the world again. There had to be some explanation for their apparent admiration of Muggles. Surely they were just pretending because they thought he was a Muggle. Yes, that must have been it. In that case, confronting them would work the best.

"So, what do you believe in?" Entropy said, looking relieved that he was feeling better. "Are you Buddhist? Christian? Atheist? Quatum physicist?"

Inertia smacked Entropy again.

"No, no, no, you're misunderstanding," Lucius said, eager to clear all this up once and for all. "I'm not what you think I am, I can do magic, I'm a -"

"Oh!" Entropy exclaimed, catching on. "You're one of those stick carrying wizard people! That explains why you're so uneducated," phe said, her tone turning patronizing. "It's not your fault, of course. Your whole world's just really regressive."

"Entropy!" Inertia hissed, though phe sounded amused. "Look at what you've done."

She pointed at Lucius, who was swaying, his face ashen. "This is a nightmare, I'll wake up in a few minutes, this is a nightmare," he mumbled to himself, his words jumbled and incoherent.

Quickly, all three phriends rushed over to Lucius to prop him up. Gravity gave him another mug of hot chocolate, while shooting an unrepentant Entropy a glare.

Three mugs of hot chocolate and one of water later, Lucius was coherent again, even if he was still pale and tired. He still had enough energy to know better than to yell at them for insulting wizards. Instead, he asked, "Is there a special person I meet then?"

A sharp look from Gravity made Entropy hold phis tongue. Instead, Gravity said, "No, I'm afraid. Your world's just so small compared to the large scheme of things that we never bothered adding anything specific. Besides, you mostly believe in Magic, and we don't do simple deities, remember?"

Insignificant. His world of superior beings had just been called insignificant. Lucius would have gone into shock again, but he refused to embarrass himself further. He remembered his arguments with his granddaughter-in-law - between losing his only grandson and accepting his wife (and the political connections that went with it) he had chosen to stay in reluctant contact - about wizard superiority, but he had always believed that she would be proven wrong. Vague mentions of contupers, which apparently wizards couldn't use because electricity didn't function around magic, and amortic bombs surfaced in his mind. And she had even hinted that the Muggle world was advancing further, though nobody in the wizarding world, not even her parents - she had given thought to rebelling over that - cared enough to observe closely.

His world completely destroyed, Lucius only knew one thing. If it was to be brought down further, he wanted someone else to explain it to him. Someone like Professor Dumbledore maybe, much as he had hated the man before, or even Lily Evans. Closing his eyes, he made his decision. "Is there a place most other wizards go?"

The three phreinds nodded. "Yes," Entropy said.

"Then I want to go there."

Lucius followed Gravity's silent command and walked through the mist.

Later, he would wish he had let the beings explain. At least _they_ didn't say "I told you so."

**Written in physics camp when I should have been paying attention :) I thought about adding an argument between Lucius and Entropy over Muggles vs. Wizards. I still might. Suggestions? **

**Criticism appreciated. Even in the form of flames.**


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